Greetings Zwinksters! Hope this post finds each of you well. Let me begin by saying that contrary to what you may have heard from the well-intentioned and trustworthy Ms. Information, your good friend Mr. Metropolitan never had any intention of retiring or leaving Zwinktopia.

Sure, I was a bit surprised to see that a majority of zwINK readers seemed to prefer the advice offered by my colleague, Miss Thang, during the recent advice-off. Quite frankly, the one-sided results knocked me off my game a little - and I needed time away from the blog to reflect and think about things. Some folks thought I'd left Zwinktopia permanently when I didn't show up at the office, or was too upset to even get out of bed. Others speculated that maybe I was lost at sea again. The truth was I just needed some time to get my head together...because as all of you know, I not only believe I'm the best - I actually do know it. But sometimes it's just hard to convince people out there of that unassailable fact....

I had no idea, though, that my absence would inspire all of you to write such incredible things on my behalf. To all of you who wrote Znotes to me - and urged me not to retire or leave - I thank you from the bottom of my repeatedly broken heart. Thank you for your kind words, lovely eCards and personal stories as well. Your support is greatly appreciated.

By disappearing for a while, I inadvertently turned the tables...and the experience allowed me the opportunity to listen to your advice, rather than the way it usually works. And I must say I'm a better man and blogger for that experience. So I'm devoting this entire post to you, dear readers - responding to your advice, and basking once again in all the praise that you have so rightfully showered upon me. So let's get to it!

First up is my good friend mer508, who writes in saying that "the zwinky blog wouldn't be the same without your sarcastic and bold writing," and then actually sought some advice from me:

Any time I hang out with some of my friends and we are talking spanish, some one comes and say "shut up (insert bad words here) blah blah blah" or "shut up or speak english", not everyone does it, but a LOT of people do. I mean, why cant they just respect, if i speak another language that they dont know, but i am not talking to them, why do they get angry?

Thanks for your kind words, mer508. And in response to your question, unfortunately there are ignorant people anywhere that are threatened by people who are smarter than them. Trust me...I am living proof that overwhelming intelligence sometimes inspires hostility in other people. The best advice I can give you is to ignore them, and hold your head up high knowing that if they were as smart as you, they'd join in - no matter what language you were speaking.

Next up is the very insightful reneesb4, who writes in to say:

You are seriously not going to let a bunch of egocentric 12-year-olds who voted for Miss Thang...get you down! You are first and foremost a brilliant writer/journalist/blogger. You seem to bring your words to life with a positive tone, filled with general good cheer and a subtle humor cleverly speckled throughout. Zwinktopia needs a voice of sanity. Do not THINK of abandoning us! <3

Thank you so much for saying that. To be fair, I don't begrudge anyone out there who voted for Miss Thang. She is a very talented writer and a colleague who has my utmost respect - and deserves any praise and accolades that she may receive. But I do agree that Zwinktopia needs a voice of sanity...as opposed to one of those crazy voices that you hear in your head when you're trying to sleep, or write a blog post. Hello? Did you hear that, or was it just me? Anyone there?

Then there's the awesomely named bloodykissesandhugs, who writes:

YOU GET YA BUTT BACK HERE! no one wants you to "retire." you were always my FAVORITE! and you just cant leave! cant! everyone would miss you! dont be bummed about losing, romance just isnt your thing! we all have things were good at, after all. please, mr metro, PLZ! cmon, i might quit if you do..i mean, im even considering it! lets GO!

Have you spoken to any of my ex-girlfriends or something? Just wondering where you're getting that "romance isn't your thing" idea. Don't believe a word they say! They're insane! Sorry. But I appreciate your support and completely agree with you that we all have things that we're good at. I happen to be good at most things. But please don't leave Zwinky because of me, or any one individual. Zwinktopia is far greater than any of us individually, but simply could not exist if it weren't for folks like you.

Then there's the lovely Zwinkster known as misshelp, who writes in to say:

Hello Mr. Metropolitian! I am the new member of zwINK! I am very glad that I am working with you guys. Please reply back. I need some help with Zwinky!

Wow. I didn't realize that we had hired anyone recently. Where do you sit in the office so that I can stop by and say hello? Wait a second. Is it possible that my boss really believed all this retirement nonsense, and replaced me with you? Let me know as soon as you can! I just might need to forward you next month's mailbag.

Meanwhile, a rather thoughtful Zwinkster known as adcpoll writes in with some keen advice of his own:

doing something self realising would help your perspective on altruism and philanthropy. try lion taming in a kiddies circus or offering free rides in central park..we love you, and couldn't bear to discuss your exploits as an ex-acquaintance

Why, that's very sweet of you to say, adcpoll. But lion taming in a kiddies' circus sounds downright dangerous. And free rides in Central Park? Even more dangerous. And kind of creepy, too. But I do agree that I need more of a perspective on altriusm and philanthropy. Maybe misshelp can help me. What do you think?

Finally, a Zwinkster going by the name 19_mileycyrus_92 writes in to say:

Hi Mr.Metropolitan i'm very sad of u thinking to retire okay? im just gonna blurt it out WITHOUT MR.METROPOLITAN THERE IS NO ZWINKY! and I speak the truth mr.metropolitan so plz dont think of anything dumb keep on helpin zwinksters and always be positive remember NO MR.METROPOLITAN NO ZWINKY we all love you ok!!!!

Wow. I'm very touched by those sentiments. I'm not sure anyone else here at Zwinky headquarters would think that there is no Zwinky without Mr. Metropolitan, but I'm fine with folks out there thinking that. So I will keep on helping Zwinksters, and will do my best to stay positive. Because without you guys, there is no Mr. Metropolitan. Well, okay...maybe there is. But I still appreciate the thought.

I am truly touched by all of your support, dear readers. From now on, you should feel free to ask me anything that happens to be on your mind - whether you're seeking so-called "advice" or not. And I will do my best, as always, to answer you. Until next time, take care and be safe out there!