Greetings Zwinksters! On behalf of everyone at Zwinky headquarters, I hope you had a great Thanksgiving. Mr. Metropolitan had a great time with the Metropolitan clan - but once again got into an argument over whether cranberries are indigenous to a specific area of New England, and ended up flinging some mashed potatoes at his cousin.

When the dust (and food) settled, we were able to sit down and enjoy the rest of a very large Thanksgiving meal. As a result, I'm still recovering from the copious amounts of turkey, cranberry stuffing and pumpkin pie.

Nevertheless, I'm never too overstuffed to reach into that good old Znote mailbag in order to help you, dear readers, get through this tricky time known as the holiday season. So what are we waiting for? Let's get to it!

First, let's get one thing straight. Curious reader sofine85 writes in to ask:

Hey, just curious...do you and miss thang have a thing goin? I sense some underlying tension that can truly be a deep attraction...lol...but that's so grade 2 don't u think? guy intentionally hits girl...when he really likes girl. good luck with that!!!

Let me start out by saying no, Miss Thang and I are simply colleagues -- and there is nothing, absolutely nothing, other than a few cubicles going on between us. Apparently I insulted her by saying in my last column that she didn't understand the male perspective of things - and being the gallant man that I am, I tried calling her repeatedly to apologize...after repeated attempts to talk to her during work hours were met with a cold stare. I may have even suggested in my phone messages that we meet at Java Jolt so that I could convey my apologies personally, since I'm always there, as the attached photo shows. Apparently she took that to mean I wanted to go out with her. But she, alas, is sadly mistaken.

So let me be clear, if Miss Thang happens to be reading this, as I know she secretly hinges on my every word. I am indeed sorry for suggesting that you do not understand the male perspective. Of course you do. But when a man of immense attractiveness and importance (such as Mr. Metropolitan) attempts to contact a person of the opposite gender for any reason whatsoever, people shouldn't jump the gun and inject some romantic fantasy into that. And clearly that's what happened, given that she felt inspired to write a column about Cuties pairing up with Hotties -- and then post a photo of me and her in the blog with a heart between us -- after my repeated attempts to reach her. I mean, you don't need to read between the lines to understand what's going on here, right?

So that's that...and now maybe she will feel fit to talk to me again. Or maybe not. We'll see after Thanksgiving break, I guess.

A glittering Zwinkster known as sapphire_city writes:

Hey, Mr. Metropolitan. I have a question for you...I already asked Ms. Thang about this but I wanna hear your side about it too. I have a friend (her name is Beverlee) and she is MADLY in-love with my best friend (Liam). She wants me to hook them up, but Liam says he doesn't like her THAT much. I'd love to tell her the truth...but I don't wanna betray my best friend or anything. But everytime I see Beverly, she keeps asking me how's my PLAN doing. What do I do? Tell her the truth or just tell her false hope? I feel kinda torn!

A great question. And dare I say this is the perfect question for my esteemed colleague Miss Thang, and I'd be curious to know her take on it. Personally, I think the best approach is for you to be completely honest with Beverly...or Beverlee, as the case may be. Because as we can see from what happened between me and Miss Thang, people get funny things in their heads sometimes. And it's best to be completely honest, even if the truth sometimes hurts.

And I really hope Miss Thang doesn't read anything into the fact that I keep mentioning her in this column...because that would be...I don't know...sad, maybe?

Excited entrepreneur naruto-2000 writes in to say:

Hi mr.metropolitan I was wondering its a new zwinky idea i know this sounds like alot, but i`d think it would please those zwinksters. Ok my idea is, how about they open a starbucks in my room...i would like a icon of me at the park and ZSU... and etc.....wearing a red apron green dress pants and a long sleeve white shirt i want to be the owner and the zwinky cash goes to where ever it goes and i got some pay to like for example if someone wanted coffee i would say the cost then it would pay me but not to expensive and like i want my room set up like a coffee shop...

Seriously, dude, the first thing I thought when I read your note was that you really need to lay off the caffeine. Trust me. That stuff will make your brain all wired - and keep you up all night wondering about things like the origin of cranberries and whether "stuffing" is really an apt term if you eat it outside of the turkey.

But in retrospect, I think your idea is great -- and represents a great spirit of entrepreneurship that we need in Zwinktopia. Every Zwinkster should have the right to make Zbucks through their own small businesses, and I'll fight for that right any day. So yes, we should consider these ideas and other ideas which promote entrepreneurs and Zwinkonomics. Wow...I'm sounding an awful lot like a candidate now. But I'd have your vote, right, naruto-2000?

Finally, a sweet Zwinkster known as twizzler_girl writes:

Hey Mr.Metropolitan!! Whats up? I love your outfit (its totally rad) and I just wanted to ask a quick q and maybe get an a. You know, I have never gotten why girls are always saying stuff like,"123 4 me!!!"and stuff like that.... None of it is real. So peoples, if you want a soul mate, search in the real world. Thats what I think. Anywas, just wanted to ask that and say hi.

Thanks, twizzler_girl! I love your name, by the way, and I'm sure Mister Snacktastic appreciates it as well. But yes, when you're looking for something like a soul mate, I completely agree -- Zwinktopia probably isn't the right place to do it.

As for the numerology that constantly goes on, the next time someone says something like you mentioned...just reply by saying "Nah - 5678 is where it's at!" or "2348 yo!" and just sit back and enjoy the reactions you get. Some people will play along, pretending they know what you mean, while others will just be puzzled. It's a fun new game for the holidays!

Anyhow, that's all the time I have for now. It's Black Friday, after all. Time for Mr. Metropolitan to get in the car, get stuck in mall traffic, then wait in line at the store only to discover all the items with the best deals have sold out hours ago. Until next time, take care and be safe out there!